Just so the people around me who always think i'm too low or too laid-back know, NEWSFLASH : i'm taking my studies more seriously now.
No, seriously.
This comes from the girl who was so busy falling in stupid monkey love and then scored nothing short of pure embarassment in my spm.
Now this girl's back to evade the glorious world of nerdiness and book piles without so much of a care of finding the non-existent joy in her life.
Oh, my mum's gonna be so proud and supportive if she reads this.
More than anything else, now i want to concentrate on pleasing not just myself, but also my parents with my oh-so-excellent grades and outstanding achievement, academic- and socialwise.
So that my folks finally have something they are actually proud to talk about at our next family get-together.
Hah! In your face, bloody proud aunties and uncles!
Well, i can't really say that just yet, i've still got a lot to work for and to prove.
It's not that i've been doing really bad in my last two final semester exams, but they were not that sky-high, either.
I've got to be outstanding, for god's sake! 3.5 is not going to make it!!
Nowadays, even scoring a 4.00 doesn't make u a knowledge saint.
So i'm practically trying to balance between mind-boggling grades as well as being recognized for various social works and faculty projects.
Sounds greedy, i know, but it's worth it.
All my life, i've been told by on-screen mums to shoot for the stars and aim for the moon,..
But i've never really wanted anything so badly in life (academic wise) like i want it now.
Jealousy and past resentment of high-achievers cousins and friends are what drives my passion now.
I just wanna be (more than) them and nothing else.
So my "very ambitious" academic target and plans now have evoluted from "Sleep, play and score average" to "No sleep, no play and score over-the-roof". I even have short and long term goals as well as personal/national records that i wish to break.
One of them is to obtain a PhD by 22.
But to do that, i have to graduate from my degree program with an overall score of 3.67 at the very least so that i can skip doing masters and straight away begin doing my PhD when i'm 21.
But currently, with 2 semesters down, i'm still weak at 3.22.
Ughh...the pressure that comes with that...
If i'm telling the truth though, i doubt that's even possible.
But when the images of those people who thought so ground-low of me pop into mind, oh how i wish i could just kill them all and stay where i am, an average-achiever.
But for now, i think i'm just gonna stick to the impossible.
I'm gonna turn that impossible to possible.
And i'm gonna need luck, prayers and seriousness...
(see, i give myself a better pep-talk than anyone else can!)
Let's give me, say, another 2 years to prove that. then if you dont see me ever again, u'll know that i've shoot myself and go to hell.
2 comments:
homaigod,semangat gile!! haha.. babe, im thnking the same here.. this sem was the worst,ever. maybe coz degree is a totally something new n im trying so hard to settle down.. so exhausted,maybe i didnt try hard enough tho.. there's nothing i can do much now,except focusing on my future n only future.. so, lets team up babe!! haha.. lets put our best effort and make the best of it.. n we will!! :)
to think that at least sumone reads n cares for what i have to say! hahaa seronok giler.. btw i mmg not so activ in this blogging thing, but do drop by bile bosan2, myb ade entry baru..hehhh..tq2...btw...i takot tggu result sem ni...god knows how i did...wish me luck..u too babes!!
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